I'm off ^_^

I'm off for my aroma facial & massage session now ^_^ Just what I desperately needed at time like these. Hoping by the time its done, I'll come out with a fresher mind, decision made. It's been a hell out of a week for me. Anyway just came back from Pyramid with honey. Been some time since I shopped. Got two tops from TopShop & another cap from Nike. I'm wearing caps again. God knows the reason why. Well, I know. And its definitely not for fashion purpose. Oh, & I went visit Ministry of Wax again. Waxing my upper lip is definitely a faster way compared to plucking it out myself. They are really good with it =)

Speechless.

"Lately you've been stressed about everything from work to the current state of affairs. Now is the best time to take a look at the things worthy of your worrying. Work on only the things that you can change, and leave the rest up to fate."

So true.

It's not like I have a choice do I? Leaving the rest up to fate, fate is never that kind to me. In times, fate seems to be fooling around with me, so evil at times that I thought fate must be the work of the devil. Sometimes, I just get so fed up with life, I get so tired of it, mentally & physically. Both. Broke down last week, once again, fate playing the same old joke to me. When one fall down for the same uncontrollable reason over & over again, it's hard to stand up. It's really hard. I'm really confused. Family, friendship, relationship, all that link one human to another, is getting in to my head. I don't really have much control over it because it takes 1 + 1 to makes 2. No matter how much I work for it, put effort in to it, in the end, it takes the other party to make the decision too. Losing a friend this way is ridiculous. How can he still message me at times, sending care in a way so cold, getting my reply & ignore me then when he tells me he wants to stop seeing me, stop communicating with me. Is the friendship that we used to have just something I imagine myself? Was all the words he said just another lie? Relationship-wise, I'm just so tired. I had lose the self-confidence to believe that there is someone out there for me, that I'm good enough to be someone's girlfriend, that I'm good enough to attract a guy for me, that I'm good enough to be able to be with a one I love. I'm just not good enough. I'm not a good girl, a good person, with a good background, with good looks, a good personality. I just ain't good enough. Family. I'm still working hard on it. Please God, at least help me out here. I'm truly lost.

By2 - 我知道

This song, lyrics modified a little by a friend of mine who's undergoing her problems, was sang to me yesterday when we were at Newway. And the lyrics makes sense *after being modified* to be applied into many of my past unhappy incidents. It applied on her situation too. And mine. Hence I decided to upload the song up here, with the modified lyrics, the words which are modified in a darker shade of purple. Its a nice song, & if it happens to apply in any of your situation too, I hope everything will turns out differently for all of you. It never does for me, but I hope there's difference of yours. To the girl who sang this song for me *her privacy is required*, I will like to tell you that miracles do happen, especially on someone as good, as kind as you. Thank you for being there for me yesterday. This is not the first time you are there for me when I needed you the most, and this will not be the last (".) When the same thing happen over & over again, as if my life is cursed in a way, it gets so tiring that my mind breaks down, unable to handle it anymore. It's really tiring, both physically & mentally.

By2 - 我知道

从来没想过不能再和你牵手

委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛

一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂

一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

你们都知道彼此心中

其实这份爱没停过

从来没想过不能再和你牵手

委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛

一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂

一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

你们都知道彼此心中

其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头

她多希望你还在她左右

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

答应你她会好好过

不让这些眼泪白流

This is what happens when I wake up too early with work to do!

Amazing right? The usual-me-who-is-able-to-sleep-for-24/7 is now suffering insomia! Oh gosh.. Sleepless nights!! Manage to sleep only like 2 hours like last night. A torture for me, both physically & mentally. Was lying on my bed *with blink-blink eyes* around 5 something, got so fussed up since I couldn't get back to sleep that I decided to head to uni & sleep on the car till Brian scared the hell out of me! Lol! Chill around awhile before he headed off to his lecture so I ended up at the library, trying to do my work but well, insufficient sleep causes brain jam to me & ended up taking silly shots.

Shot 1

Shot 2

On another thought, was talking with Brian just now & when I came online, saw his pm "everything happens for a reason" which is very true. I guess I'm starting to understand the reason behind of what happened & I'm glad I get a clearer picture now. Maybe the picture is not exactly what I'm thinking, but I guess I'll know what to do. I'll follow my own instinct for once. A million of thanks are still insufficient to show how grateful I'm to my friends. All that they have done. And a big big thanks for Sook Lee for being beside me yesterday!

Thanks to all my friends, I really am touched.

Been M.I.A for f0r quite some time. Nothing special with my life anyway. Oh & I cut my hair again. Yeap, its shorter again & this time, my mom is seriously pissed off. Been nagged for 2 days dy & she still seems to be dissatisfied. This weekend had been a terrible one, but I promise myself that I'll be strong & not let it influenced me that much. Well, I still emo & sulk around but well, I'm allowed to do that right. I just want to say thanks for all my friends for being there for me, Brian, K, Boy, Mark, Abel, Tiong.. And of course my babes too =) You girls know who you are. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. Oh, and to make it worst, I think I just lost a close friend of mine. Its a saddening thought. But well, life still goes on...

Am currently at Gilly Cafe with Sook Lee now. Brought my laptop along & test my camera out.

The first shot of my webcam! Wheee!!!

Short hair pictures. But not really that short now!

Okay, the after saying I have short hair, I have short hair, yaadaa-yaadaa-yaadaa for so long, I finally found the time to upload the pictures. But the most irritating part is? Its growing long really fast, its so much longer now compare to when its first cut! Time for hair cut again! Whee~

And having the hair cut is just another reason for me to camwhore (n_n)"

*Click*

*Snap*

*Cheese*

And sometimes I just can't help myself. I know its impossible but why, why, that I still think about it? Hope for it? Its so frustrating!

Hate getting hopes up because at the end, the disappointment is so much greater. And it feels terrible.

Went through a low-self-esteem-mood last night. Thanks Nen *I miss you larh! Come back faster!* for talking through me though. He was pissed at me wasting time over all this so-called-wet-wet-water matters & dumped the "life-time-duration-theory" on me. I remember that's what Soo always do when she first knew me. She would come with a calculator & start deducting & deducting that sometimes the figures ended up at negative which is so not going to happen. Anyway its a shitty theory but me likey =) My life revolves around studies these days, going for lectures & labs, writting up reports & essays. But I get to do things I like *most of the time* & its really really interesting. If you're wondering what I'm studying, well, I can tell you it revolves around plants & animals, abiotic & biotic components such as the soil, pH, water, air, etc. The basics of what you see in Animal Planet, National Geographic, Discovery, etc. Heard most of the guys went Maison *or whatever its called now since it reopened/renovated* last night & I'm sorry that I can't make it k? Too tired the club, spent the whole day hunting for lappies & ended up getting back the same one that I left @ Melbourne. I'll make it up to you guys next Friday. Can't wait. My little-always-act-macho-yet-silly-Tiong is turning 21! House party for everyone =) Booze, crazy people, nice music, etc. Sounds promising for now. But the most important? A great bunch of friends being together. It had been so so long.

Back to my chemistry lab report. Its due 5.00 p.m. today. Better hurry.

Loves =) Hugs & kisses for my sweet stuffs *which practically includes all my honey, darling, dear, babes, woman, etc.*


p/s: I know its silly but my mind can't stop thinking about it & hopes still up. I'm such an idiot.

Goodnight, beautiful.

Anybody who's close with me will know that I love to read. When I say I love to read, I don't mean the read-when-I'm-free-or-have-nothing-else-to-do hobby kind of thing but when I start reading a book, I get so obsessed with the book that I'll bring it everywhere I go & read it with every second I have *I mean it* & sleep very little till I finish the book. I guess this habit of mine starts when I was really young, I will read a book & get so into it that I start feeling uneasy if the book was not finished & I'll bring it to my class *back when I was in primary school* & read the book under the drawer & I did the same thing through out my high school which landed me with quite some troubles with the teachers *but they all get used to it after some time*. Even now in uni, I still read in lecture hall. A bad habit that I must change if I ever want to make it through my uni.

Anyway, enough about me. Well the title of this post is actually the title of a book by one of my favourite authors, Dorothy Koomson. I don't usually blog about books but this book had given me an urge to blog about it. I think its just a out-of-the-moment-thing but might as well do it since I feel like it. Was bored last night because dad's using my comp so I ended up digging back some old books & re-read it. Yes, I never get bored of reading a same book over & over again. And I ended up crying & crying all over again. Anyway I forget everything I want to talk about since this was what came into my mind this afternoon on my way back home so well, its just another random piece but go check the book out. If I could re-cap back what I was thinking this afternoon which was really really meaningful, I'll edit this post.

Till then, bye =)

Random pieces here & there.

Well, like I previously said, or did I? I cut my hair freaking short when I came back from Melbourne & everybody who saw me was like "Woah, Cristine, what's wrong with you?" or practically something like that. nothing happened to me, its just long hair is getting boring since I have it for like 4-5 years? Its time for a change hence, I decided to snip it short & I'm liking it no matter what you bunch are saying, wackos!

Its pretty tiring, studying this new course but I find it interesting & fun in my own way. Well, if you love to watch channel like Animal Planet & National Geographic, you'll definitely be interested in my course. But like I said, its tiring & I'm skipping one of my lectures to get some rest now before the next one, and the next one and the next one. Instead of driving away *for sure I'll not return to campus* I decided to hit the computer lab to print some lecture stuffs & I found a few pictures in my pendrive. Yayyy! A few shots on the first few days during my trip to Melbourne. There's more than 200 shots, too lazy to even upload it in Facebook or here. Sorry for the delay my friends, I'll tag you by this weekend XD

Be prepared for my short hair look....

TaaDaa~ Nah. This not the shot! XD This was just the second time I cut my hair right before I leave Melbourne. Now its way shorter than THIS! The short-hair-pictures of mine will just have to wait but its getting long, thinking of going to trim it back to how it was when it was first cut.

And I'm missing all the really really really good friends who light up my days while I'm at Melbourne. These two will be one of the few best ones =C My crazy fella, Kenry & amazing babe, Amelia. Well, its one of the shot taken during chocolate drinking session at Max Brenner. We were sitting outdoor & well, a cup of hot chocolate at the chilly winter weather *it's really cold out there at night* is just the right thing to do *although I was too full for anymore*

And the reason why I was so busy since I'm back from Melb? Beside my studies, it will be because of these two. My brother & his girl. Why? I'll talk about that some other time but I just can't wait! And looking at this picture, it makes me miss the beef teppanyaki with garlic sauce! This is the Jap restaurant that serves really really good teppanyakis located @ Chapel Street. I'm sure Kenry Lo will agree with me XD

And with all the work to be done, studies to be studied *huh?*, preparations for some hrmm "stuff", family to deal with, I'm craving for this so so much! Planning to get a cuppa after class. Anybody wanna join? Lol.

I doesn't even have enough time for myself.

The title says it all. I rarely have time for myself these days. And when I have the time for myself, most of it will be spend on my bed. To catch up some much needed sleep. And I don't even blog anymore. Most of the time the pc is just switched on after classes and left open while I sleep. Anyway I finally got to persuade what I had wanted for quite some time, which is environmental management. Kinda rare, but worth it. But it takes up all my time. Maybe I'm becoming a little lifeless. There's so much I want to blog about but I don't have the energy for it. Just went on the field trip for my environmental studies today. Took samples from the lake, rainforests & river for comparison & report purposes. Went jungle-trekking, wade through rivers & do all the nature stuffs. Too tired to talk more. Will blog in a few days time.