Monday, March 8, 2010

Trying to stand on solid-hardrock-ground.

It gets scary sometimes on how cruel the reality can be. How the reality can be so ugly when minutes ago, you was just in your own fairytale land with the most beautiful view & mind. Once again, I'm jot back down to the reality. I guess its good though, I seriously had to keep my feet *and mind* on the ground for the following 2 & a half years. I have no idea am I going to pull through all this shit happening around me, friends, family, relationships, studies, career, healthy, etc. but the old Chinese saying goes "When the boat hits the dock, it will be straight *or it just had to be no matter what*". Its a direct translation from cantonese. Its pretty lifeless but I guess I really had to keep my foot on ground for now. Getting myself floated up into the skies for God-knows-how-long then get dragged/dumped/jotted back down to hard solid land is never fun. And its never something that will me feeling oo-oo & aa-aa.

[Its time to wake myself up & un-blind myself from the lies & deception that you & I had created together. Its time for me to see that you're not who I thought you were, that your actions were just another act of yours for me to see the way you want me to. But sometimes, when a person went so far to act in front of you, acting so true that you believe it, and by believing it, it keeps you alive & well, you just want to believe it longer. But its never healthy to do so. It goes back to the same question, to do the right thing or to do the happy thing?]