Getting better!

Sitting in front of my desktop in my brother's room *yesh, it got reallocated after I got my lappie becoming the "common computer" such a waste* waiting for my brother & sis-in-law to be to reach home from the airport! Today had been a great day in a way, though tiring! Picked Kay up, headed to Millenium for yummy dim sum & desserts. Next stop, Pavillion for some shopping spree. Still looking for the perfect shoes *really fussy/picky when it comes to heels* for the my dress. Gg! Tried Aldo, Charles & Keith, Guess, Eclipse, Nine West, Nose, Vincci+, Tangs, Parkson, etc. but am still not getting the shoes! The big day is approaching so so so soon! *panic panic* Manage to get a T-shirt from Pull & Bear though & a new pair of shades. Broke my old pair the other day while shopping at Bangsar. Not exactly as nice as the old one, well, my face isn't exactly that suitable for shades anyway. Headed for a quick drink *pastilah Hoegarden.. winks to Gillian* in La Bodega after that. Helped Kay picked out someone's birthday present next =P Back to Millenium hotel for my brother's big day for some reservation & stuffs, Noble House next! Just can't wait for the pair to be back, bunking up with them tonight like we always did when I was @ Melbourne. Grandparents flew over from HK early, my room now belongs to them now.

More to come. With the pictures estimated taken during the BIG DAY, the pictures accumulated in my lappie waiting to be upload will be more than a thousand! FML.

6 more days to go ♥

Morning morning morning ♥

A very very very very good morning to everybody out there, especially to all my sweet stuffs who's mostly still traveling in their own dreamland. This blog had been sadly neglected. Been really busy for the BIG day coming up. Countdown is on! Can't wait!! And I have like 500 plus pictures lying around my laptop, waiting for exposure =) Having a little nice cup of Americano now & hey, coffee works like miracle at times like these ♥ I'll be long dead if there's no caffeine & alcohol. Just dropping by to say a little hello. Will blog more when I'm done with my work. Brother's coming back tomorrow. WooHoo! I miss him so much, just what I need @ times like these.

7 more days to go ♥

Might as well...

I think I might as well just close my whole blog down right? Since I realize I don't blog anymore these days. All I did was sleep & sleep & sleep & more sleep. God! But I don't think I will. Just still feeling a little lazy. Decided to hop in & say hello to everybody to prove that I'm still alive & breathing & crapping!

Anyway headed to Yaki Yaki for Adrian's birthday last night. Supper is such a bad idea! Happy Birthday my taufu =P More to come. Stay tune =)

A quicky lunch.

Had a quick lunch with the boys last month. Been so long since I really went out with them, can't wait till exams end for this new found place by Wei Hua =) Headed over to some place over at Subang for some sort of rice, not bad weih =P Its not the place, the food or the environment that matters. Its the people that matters =)

Bunnykins =P

A new addition: Mongul!

And well, that's me =P

Last but not least of course, will be Wei Hua. But obviously, this cute little fella decided to take pictures of us & some silly stunt & forget to take a picture of himself! Hence, I got to rely on my old pictures to show that he was there!

More of them after my exam!! Wings!!! I'm craving for wings =P

♥♥♥

This week had been a hectic one. Rushing reports & essays at the library now. Consequences of having a night out on Wednesday. It was a really awesome night, thanks to all my friends. Been quite some time since I drank & dance like that ♥

A big cup of Caffe Mocha right beside me ♥ Just what I need. Back to lab reports on jelly crystals & formation of nitrates.

The month of August.

Well, its already September now. Time is flying really fast. Major assignments due dates, finals, mid-semester test, everything is approaching real soon. Been a month & a half since I'm back from Melbourne. Not much happened but like Sook Lee say, I might be suffering from pms. My mood swings are really extreme, riding on an emotional rollercoaster. I'm just a emo freak. Maybe =P I'm not exactly sure myself what's on my mind now, been trying to clear my mind up & have decisions made. Made a few decisions during the past few days but starting to doubt the decisions I made. I'm starting to hate my sleeps, because I'm having dreams that might seem sweet to other people but nightmares to me. I hate the dreams for feeling so real. I hate that it haunts me even when I sleep. Some friends said I'm a little too stressed out with the big event approaching *which I will tell when the time's right* & my workload, barely leaving time for myself to have fun. My life is officially lifeless. Its about studies, facebook, msn, sleep & repeat all over again. My english is getting shitty & I barely understood what I write most of the time. Its like when I blog, I just spill everything out, barely understanding it later. Well, its not like its a scholar paper so I might as well not care about it. Getting an average of 2 hours of sleep every night these days. Avoid sleeping if I could. I'm sick of dreaming the few same dreams every night. I'm tired of thinking/worrying/stressing out the same matters during day time. When I start focusing my work during the day, my mind finally give the same old matter a rest, I thought things might be getting better. It got worst. During the night, it spill out in an extraordinary way, way more extreme during the day, felt much more real, in my dream & the feeling stays when I woke up. I can still feel it. Its not a healthy sign.

Maybe the month of September will be a better one. Heading to Quattro tomorrow night with a few besties to chill. Why Quattro of all place, well, its because Yang gave me a whole bottle there. Maybe just what I need now. Thanks Yang, for all your advice. I'll think about it.

I'm off ^_^

I'm off for my aroma facial & massage session now ^_^ Just what I desperately needed at time like these. Hoping by the time its done, I'll come out with a fresher mind, decision made. It's been a hell out of a week for me. Anyway just came back from Pyramid with honey. Been some time since I shopped. Got two tops from TopShop & another cap from Nike. I'm wearing caps again. God knows the reason why. Well, I know. And its definitely not for fashion purpose. Oh, & I went visit Ministry of Wax again. Waxing my upper lip is definitely a faster way compared to plucking it out myself. They are really good with it =)

Speechless.

"Lately you've been stressed about everything from work to the current state of affairs. Now is the best time to take a look at the things worthy of your worrying. Work on only the things that you can change, and leave the rest up to fate."

So true.

It's not like I have a choice do I? Leaving the rest up to fate, fate is never that kind to me. In times, fate seems to be fooling around with me, so evil at times that I thought fate must be the work of the devil. Sometimes, I just get so fed up with life, I get so tired of it, mentally & physically. Both. Broke down last week, once again, fate playing the same old joke to me. When one fall down for the same uncontrollable reason over & over again, it's hard to stand up. It's really hard. I'm really confused. Family, friendship, relationship, all that link one human to another, is getting in to my head. I don't really have much control over it because it takes 1 + 1 to makes 2. No matter how much I work for it, put effort in to it, in the end, it takes the other party to make the decision too. Losing a friend this way is ridiculous. How can he still message me at times, sending care in a way so cold, getting my reply & ignore me then when he tells me he wants to stop seeing me, stop communicating with me. Is the friendship that we used to have just something I imagine myself? Was all the words he said just another lie? Relationship-wise, I'm just so tired. I had lose the self-confidence to believe that there is someone out there for me, that I'm good enough to be someone's girlfriend, that I'm good enough to attract a guy for me, that I'm good enough to be able to be with a one I love. I'm just not good enough. I'm not a good girl, a good person, with a good background, with good looks, a good personality. I just ain't good enough. Family. I'm still working hard on it. Please God, at least help me out here. I'm truly lost.

By2 - 我知道

This song, lyrics modified a little by a friend of mine who's undergoing her problems, was sang to me yesterday when we were at Newway. And the lyrics makes sense *after being modified* to be applied into many of my past unhappy incidents. It applied on her situation too. And mine. Hence I decided to upload the song up here, with the modified lyrics, the words which are modified in a darker shade of purple. Its a nice song, & if it happens to apply in any of your situation too, I hope everything will turns out differently for all of you. It never does for me, but I hope there's difference of yours. To the girl who sang this song for me *her privacy is required*, I will like to tell you that miracles do happen, especially on someone as good, as kind as you. Thank you for being there for me yesterday. This is not the first time you are there for me when I needed you the most, and this will not be the last (".) When the same thing happen over & over again, as if my life is cursed in a way, it gets so tiring that my mind breaks down, unable to handle it anymore. It's really tiring, both physically & mentally.

By2 - 我知道

从来没想过不能再和你牵手

委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛

一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂

一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

你们都知道彼此心中

其实这份爱没停过

从来没想过不能再和你牵手

委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛

一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂

一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

你们都知道彼此心中

其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头

她多希望你还在她左右

我知道你还是爱着她

虽然分开的理由你们都已接受

你知道她会有多难过

所以即使到最后还微笑着要她加油

我知道你还放不下她

才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头

答应你她会好好过

不让这些眼泪白流

This is what happens when I wake up too early with work to do!

Amazing right? The usual-me-who-is-able-to-sleep-for-24/7 is now suffering insomia! Oh gosh.. Sleepless nights!! Manage to sleep only like 2 hours like last night. A torture for me, both physically & mentally. Was lying on my bed *with blink-blink eyes* around 5 something, got so fussed up since I couldn't get back to sleep that I decided to head to uni & sleep on the car till Brian scared the hell out of me! Lol! Chill around awhile before he headed off to his lecture so I ended up at the library, trying to do my work but well, insufficient sleep causes brain jam to me & ended up taking silly shots.

Shot 1

Shot 2

On another thought, was talking with Brian just now & when I came online, saw his pm "everything happens for a reason" which is very true. I guess I'm starting to understand the reason behind of what happened & I'm glad I get a clearer picture now. Maybe the picture is not exactly what I'm thinking, but I guess I'll know what to do. I'll follow my own instinct for once. A million of thanks are still insufficient to show how grateful I'm to my friends. All that they have done. And a big big thanks for Sook Lee for being beside me yesterday!