The end of my holidays was spent on a last minute vacation to Kuantan. A final break for me before I'm to face the books & lectures, a time for me to let all the deep random thoughts flit all over my mind, a time for me to let all my emotions flow the way it wants to before I bottled all of it up & concentrate on what I'm supposed to concentrate on. So many things had happened during this short duration of CNY & it remind me once again on how cruel the society & people can be. Face the fact, nobody is perfect & nothing is going to be perfect but try viewing it from a different perspective might lighten things up & make it look prettier.
Looking around me & all that had happened to me & my precious ones, sometimes its just so terrifying to see how fragile is most of these days relationships. And it is also shocking to see how crazy people can be, so illogical, so uncontrollable, so daring, in the name of love. Some people say its all because of love. Some people say its plain craziness. Is love a power so big, big enough to drive someone out of their own mind & do unexplainable things? I stick to my own believe, a believe that says loves is one of main reasons why so many beautiful things happens in life, that loves is one of the factor responsible for all the beautiful memories we had.
At the same time, it is undeniable that love is one thing that will hurt the deepest. So deep at times that I had known people say death would be preferable, an escape route for the process of hurting & healing from it. I had never agree that death would be the wise choice, the correct choice no matter what happened but its undeniable that love could hurt a person that deep that it drives the people mind & they became another being on its down, a soulless walking corpse. But one thing is for sure, we always come back for more. Love is definitely something we can never get enough & will always crave for more.
Life's a cycle. That's for sure. Love is one too. You fall in love, then you falled out of love. First you get to feel like you're one of the happiest person on Earth, then you feel like you're one of the saddest person on Earth. The hurts comes in & through the process of hurting & healing, you learn your own mistakes & learn another lesson on love. Then you learn how to love again based on your own experience, and most important, your heart. And one day, you will learn how to truly love a person with everything you have & vice-versa & that's the day you found your other half.
But till the day you are to find your own soul mate, I guess its about waiting & learning, living your life to the fullest, trying to live it to the minimum regrets & thinking of "what-ifs". Life goes on & people get into relationships, get out of it & move on & then get into new relationships. Some people might be tired of getting into relationships, unsure if the other person is "the-one", just wanting to meet the next one & hope that its "the-one". But avoiding love, avoiding getting into a relationship just because you're tired or unsure is a risk of losing the chance to find out if the other person is ever the one. There's something that will remain unknown if you never try.
I had been people who rushed into relationships that everybody disagree on, that everybody didn't support & oh well, miracles happens & it just prove to the people around how wrong they are. Sometimes, trust your own instinct, trust your own heart, following your own words. At the same time, I had seen people where the other half, had shown them the ugly side, had told them the truth & yet, they choose to remain in the relationship, clinging onto it so hard even though the other half had let go of it. They choose to be stuck in a dark hole they create for themselve, stuck their head in it, blind themselve in the darkness & imagine their own bliss.
After all the random thoughts I had said above, I came to no answer yet. But I choose to believe that someday, somewhere out there, there will be my other half standing, waiting for me like how I had been waiting for him. I choose to believe love as one of the most amazing things that can happen in life, one of the most beautiful blessings God had given to us. To all the single people out there, please don't give up or be afraid to love. To all the couples out there, learn to appreciate the other half standing in front of you, remember to love with everything you have, love like you had never hurt before. Do not leave a regret for the future or a chance to wonder "What if I had love more?"Remember always: "The more you give, the more you take"
Happy Chinese Valentine people. And a final time to say Happy Chinese New Year in the year of Tiger.
Loves ♥
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