Traumatized.

I'm fucking scared out of my mind.

Terrorized.

Words can't describe my feeling.

I didn't had flashes of anything when it happened but..

Words can't describe my feelings now.

I'm really freak out.

Scared.

Traumatized.

Results out?

Shit.

I'm freaking scared.

Results is going to be out soon & I'm dead nervous.

All I want is just all [Pass].

Please. I hope I get it.

Anyhow, lots of peoples are finally back from Melbourne! Gembira sial betul! Can't wait to meet up with them! God. But I really got to remove my ass from my chair. I had been hunching over all my collection of novels again & for around four days, I had been non-stop playing tons of minigames. It feels like me back in high school, ignoring everybody & playing my online games non-stop. It feels good at time since its holidays =) Had been so-called-socialising too much throughout the year.

Geez. But I still can't wait to meet up with lots of people.

My Nineteen *wink*.

Finally decided to blog after all the sleep I had. I had a valid reason to sleep non-stop. After my crazy nineteen, I fell sick the following night, shivering & ended up with a fever that lasted for two night *Yes, please feel guilty if you are one of the lots that make me drink alcohol as if its water!*. Went home the third day & accompanied my dad to some dinner because mom was tired & I got food poisoning *or according to my dad, water poisoning because the whole table was drinking liquor & I was the only one drinking Chinese Tea because I feel sick even from the smell of whisky & brandy*. The food poisoning lasted for 3 days & the only good thing that came out of it I guess was that I managed to develop a very close-relationship with my new lover, Mr.Toilet Bowl, from all the vomit & s**t.

My nineteen over at Bar Celona was a blast, despite of the club & crowd. Sadly, I can't think of anything that I can't do while I was 18 and can do while I'm 19. So life's still pretty much the same after 18. I'm touched with all my friends who managed to came although I did cried like an hour before I went to Pyramid because Tiong, Mark & Julian were stuck in Kuantan. Thanks guy for speeding all the way back to KL for my birthday. I'm touched. Thanks Bunny for baking the chocolate brownie as a cheer-up-gift. Thanks Wei Hua for surprising me with it at the car & both of you singing birthday song in all languages over at Steven Garden. Thanks to.. Shit. Plenty of thanks. Awhh. I think I'll show my appreciation in another way then to thanks everybody one by one here!

Tons of friends were there whether they were invited or not & bottles were finished till the last drop. I didn't know how many bottles we managed to consume but as far as I know the digits is in double. Gosh. I can say out loud that everybody was awesome & you guys make the night out of everything & nothing. I'm really happy despite all the up & down I went through.

Before you guys move on to the pictures *beware, tons of pictures showing my red-as-an-apple-face & drunken smile*, there's a few things I would love to say.

1st: Below 42 Vodka sucks! Please do not ever order it. Water *which they say is tasteless* taste way much better!

2nd: The songs were lovely that night, thanks to DJ Ken. Lol. Even while I was kinda blur, I hear tons of Happy Birthday from Ken at intervals. Lol. Thanks lots Ken!!

3rd: Awhhh. To those who made it, I'm touched! Really! Sorry for all the emo words I threw at you guys!

4th: For those who can't made it, it's okay! We'll all see each other soon =)

5th: Thanks again to all my dear friends! Thanks for everything. Especially the Gucci necklace! Now I'm sounding materialistic. Haha. Nah. I just love the necklace. Even my parents agreed that its nice.

Picture time!

Cake cutting moments. Sadly to say, on the same night next year, there will only be TWO big candles grazing at my cake. I guess it's time to admit I'm growing up =C

Chuck San, Jeanie sis & Me! Gosh! Been so long I since you girls lar! Sorry if I neglected you guys that night!

Few of the girls again! Including my dear, Gillian this time. My sis's hug's one of the best *wink*

Well, actually, this picture which I forgotten was taken by whom, most probably Kenry, he was supposed to take the picture above but he took our legs. ==" Lol.

Me & my 13 years-counting-on sister! Love you lotssss!

One of my babe! Thanks for the lovely night!!

Catherine's friend, me & Catherine! Thanks for coming. Why lah leave early?

Group picture!! Me, Kor, Renee, Kenry & Sis!

Some of the snap-snap moments!

A sister that I never had, the love of her life & me. Congrats once again on the opening of your shop =)

One of the attendant that night. Lol. He was going on non-stop fetching glasses, ice, mixer, stuffs you need. Lol. Poser betul!

Funny moment!

Home-made brownie. Thanks!

Lastly. Make a wish. I seriously hope that my wish comes true. I'll tell you guys if my wish did came true.

There's more pictures but I'm lazy. Sorry =)

Loves!! Time for bed!!

Dear's boutique opening!

Firstly I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR!

You're taking another huge step forward in your life & its time for you to learn. With your new shop opening, there is more for you to learn & do. Put in your all effort, love & everything you have into it & I'm sure you'll be rewarded more than you can imagine.

Lol. Headed over to Summit, Subang the other day to participate in the private opening of my best friend, a sister that I never hard, boutique. Not much people were invited that day, something private between a few close friends & relatives & family. Everything was kinda rush but it ended up okay. For your info, the boutique is selling more to casual clothing such as t-shirts & short pants, caps & shoes. It's not like those in Bangsar & currently have more male clothing compared to female's. If you guys prefer plain T-shirts & pants, feel free to drop by & have a look. The price is affordable by mostly everyone. If you need more info, just ask me =)

Anyhow, I was surprised when uncle gave me the task of "pulling the red cloth" which covers up the shop's name. The shop's gate had to be opened at 1:00 p.m. sharp & the red cloth to be pulled right after the 3 gates were opened according to prayers *which I'm not so sure*. I had to climb up a chair, wearing dress & heels, waited for the clock to strike & them to open up the gate & tear the red cloth away. They say it brings luck to the person who did it. I hope so =) Thanks uncle!

Below is a few pictures of the boutique & of me tearing the red cloth away!

Loves =)

Birthday with parents.

Birthday with my parents was simple & pleasing. We didn't invite any cousins or relatives but headed of to Le Meredien for dinner where mom had secretly ordered me a cheese cake from the hotel's chef. *Sadly I still prefer the cheese cake from my last year birthday which was from Millenium Hotel* It was a simple yet pleasant dinner & we had plenty of talks & talks. Mom wanted us to go over to Zeta Bar *which is located at Hilton Hotel right beside* for a drink but we was too tired that we decided to head home & continue our talk =)

Thanks Mom & Dad for everything. Although I might be a lil' naughty & rebellious at times, but I still love you all with everything I had & if given me a choice, I will still have you both as my parents. Muacks!

The conversation with him.

Had a long talk with Ian last night. Halfway through it, a argument-like thing started up but he had his reasons & rights & I had my way of thinking so we never exactly screamed or snap at each other *but I did cry*. Instead, like most of the time, we talk things over, trying to tell each other what's on our mind *although some of it do hurt but its better to know now than when its too late*. I'm not going to post the content of our conversation here but only bits of the last part.

Something about reality, classes & people. The upper-society or the lower-society? Its too realistic or cruel at times to judge people & classified them these way. I guess I don't feel that the lower-society is something to be ashamed of & the upper-society is something superior. Both side consists of living people, trying to live their own life. Sometimes it doesn't really matter which side you are on, as long as you are happy. It depends on the form of your happiness. To some people, it might be the form of money, fame, family, life, etc.

To me, its simple. Make life simple. I know it might sound funny to you *directed to Ian* or weird that I said the word simple when you thinks that I always make things or tend to think things the complicated way but its true. I just want a simple life. In life, there's tons of failures, holes, walls that nobody can avoid but at the same time, there's many barriers of these are created by us, our self.

I wanna say sorry & apologize if I say anything that hurt you last night, baby. I know its your exam tomorrow & you're in bed now. I just wanna tell you to try your best & do everything you could & I'll be supporting you over here.

-

Anyhow I went to celebrate my birthday earlier with my parents over at Le Meredien today. Had our dinner there with the hotel's infamous cheese cake as my birthday cake. I made a wish. Pictures up soon. Good night.

Of facial & birthday.

Went over to Beyond Beauty for my supposingly-monthly-facial today but instead of using my usual triple-action treatment, I tried a new one called "MR" today. The beautician said I had missed my monthly appointment for too long *due to exams* & there is lots of dead skin & MR will suits me better. It works well. Its a fast treatment, using machine and a tube where the opening is filled with crystal dust & they suck/absorb *out of words to describe the feeling* from your skin. The process is pain-free but its not something you will enjoy like the normal pampering kind but its good in someway because this treatment is finished with double mask, one for soothing & moisturizing & another one is mixed according to the requirement of your skin *mine is always filled with peppermint because its a little too sensitive* & finally, a shoulder massage =)

Anyhow..

Back to another topic..

My birthday is approaching and I was thinking previously on not celebrating it because I don't feel like doing the organizing & calling & arranging thing. And another reason is because I don't feel like asking my dad for money.

But..

It's going to be my last birthday over here in K.L. & the next 3 years are most probably going to be done over in Melbourne or wherever I'm going to study. So I changed my mind again & decided to celebrate *insisting on not asking my dad for money. maximum. drink lesser.* but I'm starting to regret. Calling up people & not getting a 100% confirmation *when they are the one who ask me to celebrate!* is hard to plan anything.

Give me some advice.

Should I or should I not celebrate?

A long day.

I'm dead tired now. Gonna resume my hibernate mode after this post =) If you guys have noticed, I have not been posting any pictures for freaking long & I have a good reason for this. It's a long story, but skipping to the end is I have my camera with me but my camera card is still stuck at some machine but I decided to try out my mom's new Canon Ixus 90 IS camera which she bought while we were in Hong Kong.

Exam is done for now & I have a few weeks of break before my summer classes are starting. Yeap, I'm taking summer course so I doesn't have a 4-month long break like most others do but I might as well make use of my time since my double degree course is already eating up 4 years of my time. I had only 3 hours slept before I woke up & joined Angel. Had chicken crossaint, fruit salad & tiramisu from Hilton Hotel because she was there that morning & end up taking-away some breakfast for me. Headed over to Pyramid after that.

Oh ya, before I forget. I know some of my friends who had heard about my family financial problem is kinda worried about me. Well, everybody at everywhere is facing financial crisis now due to the recession over at U.S. & for my dad, it's consider the 2nd wave of tsunami because he was hit by the 1st wave at the beginning of the year. Well, it's okay, we will still survive, it's just that I'm going to spend less, eat less & is moving back to my house next year.

Back to the topic. I decided to pamper myself & try out something which I had never tried. It's nothing special because most girls have tried it these days but I was not into it at that time & since it's after-exams & I'm bored with what's there to do, I decided to head over to Shu Uemura & try out their fake eyelashes. Seriously, I had no confidence towards other fake eyelashes in the market, like those they sell in SaSa or nightmarket or online shop or whatever. I'm very picky when it comes to anything that goes to my face, even if it's just extension. Selina is currently working over at Pyramid's branch so she was explaining me to the type of eyelashes they have over there & the typical me of course choose the most natural one BUT not the one that is seperated as in a few eyelashes, a few eyelashes, ergh I don't really know how to explain it. I bought another blusher from her too. I'm really interested in Shu Uemura's blusher and I have 2 shades of their pink and 1 shade of their violet. I'm currently using another blusher from Christian Dior for day use, remember the puffy one? It's very natural & gives a healthy glow. Chose a orange blusher this time, should say peach in colour.

Next stop: Shoe! I saw a pair I really like but it went out of size 5. Had them reserved for me & it's available at Sungai Wang branch. Gonna go over there & pick it up.

Drop Angel home & headed over to Summit to keep check on the renovation process of Gillian's shop over there. Had lunch with her, Chris, her mom & sister. Took us up for quite some time because we ended up shopping over at Cold Storage, stocking up on junk foods ==" Went over to Bunny's house afterwards & waited for Wei Hua to reach home before going over to fetch him along. Telok Gong, here we comes =) The seafood is awesome & cheap if you know how to order *but beware there is lots of shops there & make sure you pick the right one you go to*. I forget the name of the restaurant I went into but me & my family went there often enough so I know the way. Drain all the food & their famous alcohol known as "coconut or according to Wei Hua conunut flower wine*. Took a short nap on the way back before heading over to MOS. Lots of people were there. My Monash mates, friends from Inti, from Metropolitan, from Segi, my pet brother, Kam Seng, my pet sister, Jeanie & her boyfriend, Kenry & their daughter, Jacklyn, Wei Lip & his friends, Tiong, Mark, Abel, K, Julian, ergh the list goes on & on. Lots of things happen but end up everybody was happy =) Asia Cafe next for yamcha sessions with my Monash "family". Headed back to Condo with Chia Ee & fall asleep at around 5 something.

Lots of pictures since I didn't post any for quite some time! Enjoy =) Hoho!

My fake eyelashes & orange blush =)

Camwhoring dekat Bunny's car while waiting for Wei Hua to come down. The eyelashes wasn't that obvious in this picture. The next one worst =="

Very-de-obvious fake eyelashes. I still can't really get use to it but it's just for the fun of it since I never tried before.

All the food we ate. 3 of us & we ordered 1 salted chicken *whole chicken nia =="*, fried oyster-cake, fried "lai niu ha" with oats & a vege. Gone case. Fattening betul!

Me & Jacklyn! Gosh, she was tipsy at the end of the night!

My beloved sister & I. I had not seen her for a long time. Me with my exams, me with her new boyfriend. Anyhow it was fun BEFORE she left early. Her new hairstyle is funky! *counting years of our sisterhood, 13 years & more to go!*

Me & Pei Yee! This is a small small world. She's Abel's friend but end up following kor's friend over. I'm surprised that she still remember who I am. Met her once over at BarCelona only =)

Me. Sister. Jacklyn.

Another pic while chilling at The Deq.

Hoho! Me & my pet brother, Kam Seng. Currently single & available. Anyone interested? But seriously hor, he sayangs me lots! *counting years of sister-brotherhood, 7 years & more to go!*

Me & Daniel. He's not my boyfriend. Please don't misunderstand. I don't want to be murdered. He's just my sister =) Don't emo =)

One of the few that make my Monash days memorable. Please don't be sad for too long k? If she doesn't know how to appreciate the good & just can't stand the long distance, its her lost. I had tried once & regretted it.

Me & Mark. He look so gone ==" You are the one who should BEHAVE!

Abel & me. See his new hairstyle! Damn Q I tell you! Make him looks so kiddo. He's always Q but this hairstyle makes him look even cuter! My god. I wonder why Ah Yang cut this hairstyle.

Me & K!! Sorry for not replying your messages & answering your calls before this! You lar! Call or sms the wrong time. Always find the time I'm busy sleeping then you find me. You know, during pre-examination-preparation period, every minute I can sleep is precious!!

The birthday boy with some Monash, some Metropolitan, some KDU or HELP *which I forget*. Rojak betul.

And finally! Kenry posting for my camera. I was testing my mom's camera because I couldn't really grasp the way it functions so was testing around & he was posing. Gosh!

A long day AND a really long post. Hoho.

Naaaahhh niggggghhttt

Loves =)

Middle-east food over at Al Nafourah, Le Meredien.

Mom had this urge to try out the middle-eastern food over at Le Meredien Hotel, KL Sentral since she had heard her friends mentioning tons of times about the food over there. I was assigned as the driver since mom doesn't really know her way around that area. It was still quite empty when we reached there because it wasn't officially the lunch hour yet & the OLs & OGs are not officially there yet. Take our own sweet time to order & end up the chef recommend that weekly set lunch *because it uses swordfish as its maincourse & mom loves fish*. The food was awesome, arranged delicately like most other five stars hotels do that I decided to grab my mom's camera & start snapping =)

My picture. Hoho. So long since I posted pictures up. I was effing bored & my mom was too busy getting ready so.. =)

The interior design of the restaurant. At the back is some private areas where they have sofa seats for a table of 4-8. The place I was sitting *which is not shown in the picture* is a row of tables for 2 or 4 besides tall glass windows, overlooking the swimming pool & garden.

Starter for the course. *Actually I wrote down the name of the food but the paper had gone M.I.A.* Its actually 3 chicken kebabs slice filled with some kind of nuts & herbs behind, with a coleslaw salad at the middle.

Amelie, remember this one? Remember the time when he headed over to TarBush & I wanna order lemonade, end up they serve this one for us? Lol. This one taste like roti canai to me but its less oily. It's actually kind of flour bread or something *I guess* but I think the ones over at TarBush was way nicer.
While waiting for the maincourse, my mom decided to snap a picture of me *which is all because of me wearing a very cute & kiddo shirt that day* =="
Our maincourse with the compliment drink which taste like rosewater. The stew is made up of swordfish slices, tomatoes, carrots, olives & potatoes cooked in a tomato pulp with a touch of their herbs. It taste sweet & soury & the fish is really awesome. Served with a small portion of fried rice.
And finally, the dessert! Well, the set doensn't include any dessert but I was tempted to order as it's one of my favourite dessert.. Apple tart! Which is similiar to apple pie just that it comes in the tart form. Excellent with a cup of tea. Ooo & middle-east people drink teas with hot milk o_o. Anyhow satisfied my craving for desserts =)Oh ya, before I forget, if you are a coffee lover, you must try out the Arabian style coffee. It's awesome & way much different from those you drink at Starbucks! Did you guys know? I hate starbucks. Serious. But I love other coffee house, with Coffee Bean ranking the 1st place =)

Anyhow, my plan to go on a diet fail miserably. I'm still eating non-stop. Aiks. Who cares as long as I'm happy. Duh! Bwai *winks*

Exam has finally come to an END.

Well, for this semester anyway, it has come to an end but there is still lots more to go in the future. But still, it is something worth to be happy about *or I should say my sleepless, stressful nights had come a pause for now*

I had sleepless nights these days. Insomia *yuck*. But it's true. I can spend my day studying non-stop *which means no afternoon naps* till late night, like practically 3-4 a.m. since the previous morning and my eyes get all droopy, threaten to close on its own if I don't get to bed soon. I'll then head to my bed, close my eyes, shutting my brain off for some rest.

Then.......

My brain starts to spin, think, voicing it's own opinion, projecting thoughts which is supposed to remain on the back of my head on its own, creating another sleepless night ending up me falling asleep only at sunrise & waking up a few hours later to study again.

Gosh.

I had tried all ways to make me sleep, music which varies from Kenny G's to house music, hot drinks from milk to coffee *coffee help me sleeps in normal time*, aroma-theraphy, mask, massage, drinking till drunk *oooo.. sensational*, swimming, skipping afternoon naps, tiring myself out, not sleeping for more than 4 hours in 2 days & many more idiotic, stupid ways but still my mind wouldn't shut *I have considered using the psysical way to shut it down but is afraid of the pain T_T*

I had previously planned that after the exam, I'll hibernate for days *which in Bunny's mind will be till Thursday which meant party day for him, right?* Stop thinking of partying & concentrate on Biology paper first! Ish!

Naaahh-niiigghhttt.

Loves.