Happy Burfday Loon a.k.a Jackie!

Happy Burfday my dear friend Loon!

You're getting older so time to get a grip on your life ya! Get yourself a girlfriend, earn more $$, get fatter, etc. Whatever you want, whatever you wish for =)

Last night was a blast XD Headed over to The Kick for Loon's burfday with Xian Zhi & the whole bunch of crazy fellas. The dancer/stripping part was LOL. And Nee was working over there =P Laurence babi was there too but sadly to say, she's returning to Indo soon =C Hope that she'll made it back here for her degree. Like I promise, I'll pray to every God I come across for you.

It had been quite long since I felt this way. Beside my birthday, I think most of the night I went out was kinda saddening. Yesterday was a different story =) Great night. I had the right amount of wine, tipsy & high, in another word, happy^^ If I had know J.R. would open wine I wouldn't had drank that few cups of Chivas, the mixing of diff types of alcohol in my stomach makes me puke. Yeap, I puke disgusting red substance. But I'm happy.

Pictures would be up soon cause its in J.R.'s camera. Till then, ciaoz =)

The very few girls which made my day =) I miss you all =C

Have the urge to post a few random pics of me & my babes up suddenly. I have lots of friends but you girls are special among all =) I miss you girls lots, wherever you are, whatever you are doing. Thanks for being my friends babes =)

*Take note that the ordering of the picture doesn't represent who's the most important, who's the top, etc. I love them all dearly*

Introducing my darling: Cheah Sek Kee. Currently studying over in UK. Half more year till you're back for summer. More Jasmine tea ei darling? Green frog bags & stockings =P

Introducing my woman: Amelia Ho! Crazy fella but love her all the same. Serious, this picture remind me of the night. Flash back, the gossips & the hand-shaking ==" Let's meet next week if you're reading this & if you're not, I'll call you =P

Introducing my own angel: Angeline Chai. Always up for anything & everything, thanks for all the time you was there for me at all the weird hours & insomia nights!

Introducing hrmm this one, no nickname yet! Sook Lee! My yam-cha-gossip-emo-kaki. Always the two of us, always all the complicated situations. Get yourself out of the situation lar babe! Hmph. But I'll still fetch you to Sunway if you really want it *wink*

Introducing my sister: Jeanie Liew. Currently M.I.A due to Kenry Lo. Since I'm single, its better this way compare to me seeing you both lovey-dovey. Lol. Kidding. All the old-crazy-days.

Introducing my lougong: Chim Yee Yin. One more week till she's back. Get your ass back from Shanghai faster =P My first lesbian partner & only hubby =P She took my first kiss too, a kiss to ward off guys eh^^?

Introducing my dear: GillianNg! Out of words for her. She is just there when I need her & disturbingly there when I DON'T NEED her as well =)

Introducing my honey a.k.a my current official lesbian partner ==": Soo Siaw Vun. I wrote too much on her, so better not write anymore. Save it for my "declaration of love". Lol. She loves it =="

Actually this is really something very random but I really miss them lots. Some might be near to me, some might be far, but at this moment, all of them are in my mind & all the moments we went through are flashing through =) Thanks for being my friends =)

I need a break.

I mean what I say.

I need a break.

A break from this home, a break from my mom.

But it hurts my dad a lot and I knew it.

My mom & I was screaming each others heads off the whole afternoon. She went balistic when she start comparing me to her two very close friend's daughters who happen to study in Monash too. It sucks. I don't care what other people says or think about me, but I care when someone so dear to me, the one who should stand on my side when I needed her too starts yelling at me that I'm one of the worst kind of daughter she could get & she hope that her daughter is not me but the other two. It hurts like hell. Till now, the words are still like some deadly-venom, spreading across my body, poisoning & torturing my soul.

I'm not the perfect daughter, but at least, I know I love you, mom.

But this time,

I really need a break.

From this place call home & from you.

I need some time & space to chill & think.

And I think you need the time & space too.

I'm sorry.

I'm not going to Melbourne any time soon. I'm sorry.

Looking around me, I find many people out there do take things for granted. In a way, they think life should be "that" way and all they have is what they should have. I see kids everyday demanding for this & that, never truly appreciating the things they have & be satisfied with what they have. Maybe this is what we call life. You'll never be truly satisfied with all you have, but at least, give it a try. Be more satisfied, if not truly satisfied.

Each & everyone of us were born with nothing, so were our parents. The lucky ones *or it might also be consider as unlucky which depends on which point of view you're seeing through* might be born with rich parents with plenty of money & is able to give you all the luxuries you want & provides you with the best of everything & with still enough money for your next generation or you might be born with parents who have nothing at all *like I say, it really depends on your thought to feel who's the lucky one & who's the unlucky one* but one thing is for sure, we are all born as equal, with nothing of our own besides our body & life that God gives us & it is up to us on how we want to spend our life. Not all rich-pampered kids are spoilt-brats & not all poor kids are hardworking. And never forget, no matter who we are, we got the power to love. All of us are equal to love and be loved.

My plans are changing as time passes by. My family's financial problem is getting worst & this time, I had made my decision to post-pone my studies to Melbourne. I'm sorry to those I promised, the promise of me in Melbourne with all of you, the promise I'm going to break. Sometime, unexpected do happen but I do believe that if you're my friend, you'll support my decision to keep my family accompanied & not going all the way to Melbourne to burden their current financial state even more. Some might question me, "Is things really that bad?". For that question, I've no answer because from my point of view, this is not what I call a bad. At least, I still have my family with me & for that I'm contented. Things might get even worst this year, or it might turn around and start moving to the brighter side. Who knows? But for now, the most important thing is that my dad *who's the only breadwinner in the family* stays strong & not let all this down-moments & stress affect his health. I can see how all this thing had affected his healthy physically & mentally & I hope that my decision to stay in Malaysia & at the same time, moving back home *yes I no longer stay in Sunway* will make him feel better. My brother is finishing his last 2 units in Melbourne now, hoping to graduate by March & to find himself a job over there to lessen the burden of my family. I hope if things aren't going well in this side of my family, I hope it is better over there for him.

I Finally Found Someone by Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams.

The song that I had uploaded over in my blog, indeed, is a song that sing my dreams. To be able to find someone that you truly love, to be with every night, to be able to spend the rest of your live together, to share all the happiness & sadness in life, to go through all the ups & downs together, is not something easy. You might go through a few relationships before you find him/her, or you might find him/her as your first love, or you might find him/her when you have gone through a lot of relationships but I believe, everybody will find their special someone one day. I used to think that I had found someone, he love this song as much as I do, both me & him had our own but same dream on using this song as our wedding song but now, I feel that I had lost him because of me myself. Because I didn't know what I myself want at the moment. I have no doubts on him but doubts on me myself. This song still sings my dream, and I have the faith that one day, my dream will come true. To those out there, I hope that you've find your someone & remember to appreciate all you have.

I Finally Found Someone by Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams

I finally found someone,
that knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one,
that makes me feel complete

We started over coffee,
we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things,
the best things begin

This time it's different,
It's all because of you,
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it through

My favorite line was
"Can I call you sometime?"
It's all you had to say
To take my breath away

This is it, oh,
I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one,
to be with every night
'Cause whatever I do,
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone,
ohhh Someone
I finally found someone,

Did I keep you waiting,
I didn't mind
I apologize,
Baby, that's fine
I would wait forever
Just to know you were mine
You know I love your hair,
Are you sure it looks right?
I love what you wear,
Isn't it the time?

You're exceptional,
I can't wait for the rest of my life
This is it, oh,
I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one,
to be with every night

'Cause whatever I do,
It's just got to be you

My life has just begun
I finally found someone,

'Cause whatever I do,
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone.

Old pictures eh?

Was busy deleting unwanted stuffs from my computer just now when I came across these pictures. These pictures was taken on my 2nd trip to Korea few years back with my family & some friends. Some of the pictures had gone haywire for unknown reason & most of it was already gone from my computer long time ago. I used to travel a lot when I was young to lots of places but these trips are getting lesser & lesser with my brother over in Melbourne, me busy with my studies and my family facing financial prob but I'm contented with all I have now & feeling grateful still with all the places I had been to in this short nineteen years of my life. I miss Italy lots =C Its still the favourite country among so many I had went to. I used to dream of going over to Italy to study but well, it costs quite a lot & I'm required to study Italian in order to enter most of the unis. Well, that was just a dream of mine.

Uh uh. Pictures of me 3-4 years back, I can't remember when ==" Anyhow, big difference from the pictures taken during my first trip to Korea. The second one was way better =P I get to do lots that I wasn't allowed to do the first time I was there. Haha. And lots of silly stuffs my friends made me do too =="

I look so happy with the snow. I was wondering why I was so happy. Can't remember. But I remember what happen next, snow-ball-fighting-session! Whee!

This is one of the distorted picture. Didn't know what happen to it. Me & Yen & Ling posing =) They made my day =)

3 of us again. We were actually pretty tired. Woke up early in the morning to walk up this freaking mountain & it was really slippery with all the frost. Yen did managed to slip & fall =X

Familiar huh? I don't know who he is but I guess you can see his face all over in Malaysia now at Faceshop outlets. At that time, faceshop wasn't open in Malaysia yet. Haha. Retarded me with retarded pose =="

I remember going into this store where they stick all koreans stars poster up & tourist use to go up to their favourite actors or actress to leave their signature. You can see all of it filled up with scribble & signatures. I didn't know why would they want to do that. I thought fans want the signature of their actor & actress. Why sign on their face?

Haha. I look retarded few years back & still is now!

Good night & sweet dreams.

The old look of my blog is getting pretty boring so I made a new one. A very simple one actually, nothing fancy. Anyhow I apologize if the font colour is making the post difficult to read but for unknown reasons *most probably due to hormones*, I feel like going purple =="And that's the reason its kinda purplish over here now.

Anyhow I manage to complete & hand in my Account's assignment right on time but it took me 2 sleepless nights & days. No class tomorrow =) Hooray^^!

Off to bed for now.

Sweet dreams to anyone who's reading this *including myself*

Naaa-nigghht.

Loves^^"

The world, or should say KL, is getting irritating small.

I was suppose to be doing my account assignment in Monash now but it was too effing bored that I decided to check out a few of my friends' blog which I seldom do these days.

Plenty of updates which I missed out.

And then.

It came to the pictures part.

Seriously, its like everybody knows everybody.

All around me, this friend of mine know that friend of mine & vice-versa & I didn't knew that they knew each other & when me & them starts talking, they get all really bitchy & start spilling out secrets of the other person.

This world is becoming a very horrible place.

The ones who spill to me, indeed, is mostly all my very close friends and they just talk whatever they want to me but still, some secrets are so ewww & awhhh that I'm wondering what's my reaction when I came face-to-face with those other people again *who's just mutual friends*

But anyhow,

Like I say,

Its getting real irritating when everybody knows everybody somehow.

I need to get out of this circle *which was what I did most of the time these days*

Oh.

Before I forgot.

I did hear funny remarks on me from those so-called "mutual friends". Comments. Hrmm.

Some say I'm proud.
Some say I'm anti-social.
Some say I'm a slut.
Some say I act like a bitch.
Some say I doesn't know to dress *because I go to clubs in jeans & t-shirts. lol*
Some say.. The list go on.

Anyhow, I don't care. Like I say, I want to get out of this circle which is closing in around me despite the amount of people is increasing. *I hope the index over in the stock exchange goes this way*

My friends *the real ones* are still there even when my life no longer revolve around this circle.

Actually this is just something random. I'm still bored & stuck with my Account assignment.

I agree that I hate account with passion.

God bless me.

Happy New Year & oh, my declaration of love #1.

I guess its a little late for New Year greetings I guess but I'm sure I had sent off a few greeting messages here & there but to those I didn't,
I wish all of you a very Happy New Year & may this new year be filled with more joys & blessings compared to the previous.

Lots of thoughts went through my mind during New Year & I'm not ready to blog about it yet. I still can't put my thoughts into words *I did try to write about it earlier on but I deleted all of it cause it just seems to sound wrong*. I know quite a few close friends had been wondering what happen to me & what's with all that sad face moping around at Blanc during New Year. I was practically just sitting there, watching on of the few dramas going around me & absorbed in my own thoughts which manage to produce a constant-sad-looking-face. All I can say was a lot of thoughts manage to cross my mind at that particular night & I was too busy thinking. Anyway I got to say Ken did a good job that night & get Blanc & its people rolling all over.

Back to my declaration of love no.1 to my honey =)

My official lesbian partner, Soo Siaw Vun.

Well, I'm thinking of blogging my story of me & her over here. It all started when I was first at Sunway College last year, doing my Australia Matriculation at that time. The first thing about her that attracted my attention was her maggi-curl-hair *which I'm sorry to say because that hair makes her look like those 30 year old lady*. Well, she ended up having some of her class similar to mine but the one that draw us together would be Chemistry. We were mutual friends at that time & she's always giving out happy-vibes to those around her but we never hang out together. She's way too cheerful. Lol. Till one day, she came to me & pour some of her private problems to me which she was conflicting over. At that time, I was wondering to myself, why is this strange girl pouring out her deepest secrets to me who is practically a stranger? At that time, I just listen. It was during Chemistry. Each day during Chemistry, she will tell me what she was conflicting over & I just listen but slowly, me myself unaware of it, I was giving her advice, which means a two-way communication now happens. By the time I realise it, well, I can say I'm really attracted towards her, or being attracted by her & I'm always looking forward to our pre-Chemistry "hanging-out" session. Well that's the first. Story to be continued..

All I can say is, our friendship starts with this little irrelevance thing. She's the sweetest person I have known, giving out so much, never expect to be given back anything in return & I was just taking & taking without noticing when one day, I was touched by her sincerity & her innocence.

She became part of my life & of my family's too. I did many things that was out-of-her-league which wasn't good, but she accepted it still, staying true as my friends despite of all that had happen. We went through quite a lot, especially the the beginning of this year. At one point, I was really hurt & sad because of her, but we manage to make it through & our relationship is still going strong.

I love you with all my heart, honey.

I really do.

No matter what happen, I just want you to know I'm always here even at times I have doubt, you clear it out for me with your innocence.

Thanks for letting me be your friend, be your sister, be someone close to you.

I can't wait to get over to KK in one & a half month time.

Loves =)

Left 4 Dead.

A yamcha session turn out to be a gaming session, me being stuck at T-Bun now, blogging *that's obvious*.

Okay. I stop going to CC for quite sometime, stop gaming for a freaking long time & today, it turns out, I get to play a new killing game *new for me anyways*. The freaking human versus zombie *which reminds me of Resident Evil* game, Left 4 Dead.

Obviously, its fun to shoot non-stop with the machine gun *or whatever you call it* but it starts getting frustrating to downright disgusting when tons & tons of zombies keep coming up to you & you didn't even know where to start shooting & your machine gun is running out of amno & you got to use your secondary weapon which holds on 15 bullets & reloads freaking slow. Hrmm. And then there's the part when I'm not playing on the human side but the zombie side. I was downright disgusted with me myself and took off my headphone because the sound is getting unbearable and the sight when I die, well, its fun if you hate zombies a lot. But playing the Tank or the thing that throw stones & keep clawing or pushing or biting the human down was way fun. And that's the only zombie which I manage to use & at least hit some person & stay alive. Nice game to release stress anyway. Haha.

I finally got the first & second book for the movie called "Twilight", the first book is named of course, Twilight & the second named New Moon if I'm not wrong. It is way much more nicer & interesting compared to the film. Oh well, when had a film made based on a book had been nicer then the book itself? Sin City is an exception =) Anyhow the third & fourth book is out of stock in 5 book stores I went to this week & its getting frustrating because I'm imagining what the next book is all about most of the time. Yeap, I finished reading the first book in one day & catch only like a few hours of sleep before I continue to the next one. I'm addicted & glued to a book once I get started. Can't wait for the stocks to arrive. I really need some release from all the emotional things I'm going through.

And I realised I used the word "frustrating" quite often these days. I guess I'm getting frustrated more & more easier.

Loves =)